Thursday, May 22, 2014

Evaluating client's problems

I don't have any actual clients, but after a few weeks of reading various online legal discussion boards, I have arrived at a rough esitmate.

30% of the issues presented exist only because there is a lack of enough money. Yeah, there are real legal issues involved, but solving the legal issues do not solve the problem.

5% WANT it to be a legal issue so as to buy a ticket in the great legal lottery game with a cash payout.

10% got caught but really don't want to go to jail and they are looking for some fail-safe legal technicality  that will make their guilt go away.

5% are, for lack of a better way to express it, mentally ill and are delusional.

5% never contemplate the possibility that a judge might not believe their story, so there is no corroborating evidence presented, so what to do now that it's too late?

5% are lawyers, law students or paralegals looking for free research assistance.

5% are incapable of getting along with others and they derive an unhealthy satisfaction from pointless turmoil. This typically involves next door neighbors who hate each other, restraining orders and calls to the police.

5% are pretty sure their boss is screwing them, and they might be right.

10% involve landlord-tenant issues. Many of these are included in the first items above involving money issues.

10% are child support or child custody issues that could easily be resolved if they didn't hate each other so much that causing problems was more appealing than resolving problems.

10% have genuine legal issues that can be helped by providing a link to a statute or a local ordinance.

2% involve bullies with badges, guns and arrest authority.

I think that add up to 100%, more or less.

This is an informal proof of Sturgeon's Law

Tom Fox, J. D.
Southern Specialty Law Publishing Company
Louisville, Kentucky

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This is not legal advice and I am not a lawyer.

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